Albanian Snakes on a plane. Day 13
Ok this day is going to be short because in short it is 8 in the morning and I am out of bed, this is not a good start for me. But we are heading to Chicago so I am excited about that. We pack our bags and check out.
The trip to the airport is quick with us being the only ones on the shuttle. The airport is ridiculous. I mean its a Tuesday and there just seems to be people everywhere. Security check is fast but thorough, the all new whole body scan thing is pretty intense but that is nothing compared to the person I am sitting next to.
Welcome to United airways direct to Chicago from Las Vegas. Also known as the worst flight of my life. The airport staff were lovely and I would recommend flying with them to anyone. However, the Albanian man next to me was possibly the most insane person I have ever met. To start with he was unhappy with his seat and wanted to sit next to his girlfriend. The flight is frickin chockers, everyone looks miserable and now this guy is making a fuss. Ok he sits down, on the window, right next to me.
Then his phone starts to ring, after they tell you to switch off all electronic devices. He answers and starts blathering away like its a Sunday afternoon and he just wants a coffee and a scone. The lovely flight attendant says, “excuse me sir but I need you to turn off your phone.” With a scoff he hangs up. Ok takeoff time. The phone rings, he presses a button in his pocket. He then proceeds to check his messages and email. Dude turn the god damn phone off!
So iPhone ringing away we climb into the sky. Lucky we aren’t at thirty thousand feet and the pilots don’t need radio to fly. Dude turn the god damn phone off! He finally falls asleep, or maybe I shook him into unconsciousness, I cant be sure. It’s only a 4 hour flight so I decide to grab a little shut eye as well. Lids closed, peaceful slumber, then I’m violently shaken. “I have to get out” he stares at me blankly. Jess climbs out of her seat and I get out of mine so this guys can grab his iPad from his bag three aisles away. Waiting patiently, he sits back down.
Back to sleep for me, I am awoken by giggling fits of laughter. Mr iPhones girlfriend is next to us and they are having romantic conversation. Shut the F#£@ up!!! He looks at me, “I have to get out.” No sir I have to get out. I am seriously considering stuffing this guy into the above air toilet and flushing. Get me off this plane.
Finally Chicago airport is in our sights. I bolt off the plane knocking old women and small children out of my way. We check in to our Omni hotel spectacular suite and hit the grocery store for supplies. After watching a serious dose of the new show inkmaster it is time for bed.
The nightmares of Albanian snakes on a plane await..
Josh and Jess